WHY DO GIRLS WEAR THAT ???

Now that formalities have taken place, it is time for my first 'real' post. Today's topic of discussion; WHY DO GIRLS WEAR THAT ??? :/

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I haven't participated in some horrid trends in my time ( hair mascara? ), but honestly at 12 years old you can be excused. No no I'm talking about full grown women. Women old enough to know better, old enough to buy their own clothes and old enough to LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

Lets begin:

1. WHITE TIGHTS ahhhhhhh. There is not a woman on earth (not even Miranda Kerr) that can pull this look off. They get grubby, transparent, and worstly ( is that a word?), they highlight every single flaw like a giant neon lit billboard. If you must wear these bad boys, pleeeeeaaaassseee wear something on your top half that covers your rear end.

2. NEON. Unless you are exercising, because we could all do with a little (or a lot) of colour in our worlds during that torture, or you are filming a pop video clip in the 80s, then there is absolutely no need to wear something so bright it looks like you've gone and slaughtered a glow stick, then proceed to pour said glow stick over ones body.  You look like a giant tacky tack ball, and furthermore, after 2 washes, your clothes are not even neon anymore, their just shit faded out crap.

3. SKIN COLOURED LIP COLOUR. No I do not mean nude lipsticks, which by all means I condone, no I mean slapping foundation/concealer all over your lips and blending them into skin colour, or worse, lighter. ARE YOU AWARE YOU LOOK LIKE A CORPSE??? I don't know which 'fashionista' started this trend, but seeing girls in clubs with eyes like panda bears and lips like a zombie bride often makes me fear for my generation. As if the colour isn't bad enough, their lips do this cracked, flaky falling off thing from the dryness of FRIGGING CONCEALER ON THEIR LIPS.  Do the world a favour, STOP!

4. WEATHER CONFLICTING OUTFITS.  Let me set the scene for you, its 5pm, its cold, you've ducked down to the local supermarket, your feeling mighty fashion forward in your trackies and vans.  You spot a young girl looking at fruit, gee how is she wearing denim shorts and a singlet in this cold weather? you ask yourself. WAIT A MINUTE!! she has a frigging scarf and uggboots on, shes obviously fine.  NO!, NO NO NO.  Honestly, wearing the skimpiest outfit you own and slapping a 5 dollar cotton on scarf on is not an acceptable winter outfit.  Similarly, I do not want to see you dressed for the alpine, with a pair of havianas on your feet.  Dear teenage girls; boys wont think less of you because your warm ;)

5. TRENDS YOU JUST WEREN'T "BUILT" FOR. This is by far my favourite.  It is the worst.  You know when your flicking through a magazine, and there stands a 6ft amazonian princess of a model, dressed in leather shorts and a fringed crop top because that is this summers "latest trend", and you think wow, she looks great. STOP. Think long and hard.  When you're imagining yourself are you remembering to photo shop the rest of your body into the picture?  I'm all for embracing ones body, heck I'm no beanpole that's for sure, but sometimes a little self honesty is required.  Will I look cute? or will my leather covered behind resemble a jersey cow? :/

The moral of all my rambling here ladies really is just embrace yourself, look twice in the mirror, and dress to suit you. Just follow my tips and you'll never look like a cellulite ridden-glow stick eating-zombie bride-weather confused-baby heffa again.

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