Things my mumma taught me ;)

Whilst having a little shop the other day and judging everyone around me to use in a blog post, I came across a book titled "Things my Mother taught me".  I assume it was being sold for mothers day, although seeing as that's been and gone it clearly wasn't a top seller ;) Needles to say, I picked up the cute little pastel hard copy and had a flick.  Just as I expected, filled to the brim with cute little lovey dovey cheese ball quotes about how mum "taught me to always have self-belief" and to "always love myself"" and their apparent stab at humour with "to never mix up plain and self raising, its always a mess" UH YEAH OK. I don't know about you, but if I had to write a book of things my mother taught me, of the lessons she gave me that really stuck, they certainly wouldn't be cheese ball moosh stories.  In fact I don't think they would even be allowed to be published, lucky for blogs huh ;)

BTW don't get me wrong, my mum certainly was an advocate for the emotional, just watch a Rom-com/listen to Micheal Jackson/wait for the sorbent add  in her presence ;) But I thought, today's blog would be dedicated to my mum, and all the mums out there, and all the wonderful things she taught me.

You will never understand until you have kids of your own.
Alas, I do not have children, what I do have is a boyfriend, and well that's close enough really.  Every day in my domestic duties I have a new little "ahhh that's why she was always losing the plot" moment.  For instance, I now understand her need for clothes to be packed away.  As a teenager I was an avid 'floordrobe' user.  I never understood the issue. I didn't until I washed the same CLEAN pair of darling boyfriends jeans in one week, because they kept getting tossed out with the dirty shit on the floor.
Another little epiphany came when I learnt to appreciate a made bed.  It makes the whole room appear neater, its nicer to get into at night, and its just generally the right thing to do.  My excuse as a teenager, the good ol "I'm just going to sleep in it again tonight".  My boyfriend gave me that excuse the other day to which I replied, well you better not wipe your arse next time you shit cause I guarantee that'll happen again.

Lesson Learnt: Mum was right

Another important thing i learnt from my mum was the ability to very quickly analyse a person and make a judgement.  I mean this in the best way possible, I can very quickly gauge a person.  Whether this came about as a result of sitting in the Woolworth's car park constructing the life story of those around us, "That is definitely their second marriage, half the kids have red hair", or our love for a good gasbag, it is a skill I am so glad I learnt.

Lesson Learnt: Judging a book by its cover is OK, if the cover is so very clearly published.

 My mother has taught me many a drinking lesson. 

• Never proclaim you are giving up after a rough night, it'll only lead to embarrassment when you are 3 schooners deep that arvo
• Always have something to move onto once beer/wine gets to yuck
• if you've managed to wake up in matching PJ's, you probably did alright
• It is perfectly acceptable to drink at small social gatherings, including, but not limited to; baby showers, first birthdays, local footy games, televised footy games, someones in town for the weekend, because you have the day off tomorrow, because its the last day of the weekend. etc etc.

The list goes on and on.

Lesson Learnt: Mummy knows best

To round out this post, here's a quick few I keep in the memory bank:

• White pants are never a good idea
• If your going to wear control/suck-in stuff under an outfit, be prepared to take it off
• Fast forwarding to the end of Conair and having a cry is perfectly acceptable
• The simplest way to cook something is best
• Karma is very real, be mindful of that

You see I think the practicality of the lessons my mother taught me is far more important then any pastel coloured book can begin to describe.  Sure, sugaring things up is always fun, but life sure ain't sugared up, thus I'm glad my mum taught me so many valuable and real lessons

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