The best kinds of people ;)

If youve read my blog you already know that a title like that, will not be followed by a nice fluffy post about good people.  But rather, a little rant about quite the opposite ;)

Wandering around a local shopping place this past week, I decided another rant blog was most definitely required.  For the love of all things holy, WHYYYY are some people allowed in public?  Public indecency laws should also include people who have hair extensions that are so thin, they could be mistaken for a piece of thread caught in the woman's horrid over processed main. ergh ><

My day was going along just fine, a morning of media assignments, cleaning duties done, and the boy returned home from work, and thus a late lunch date was on the cards.  Why did I expose my eyes to such horror :O SO I though I would write a little message, that I would pass onto these people, should I ever have the chance.  Here we go:

Dear woman with acrylic nails, hair extensions and a screaming child with a dirty face, clothes and no shoes.  I have no issue with you spending your welfare cheques on making yourself beautiful, nor do I have an issue with the government helping you out while you spend valuable time raising your child, BUT WHEN YOU ARE DOING NEITHER, then the issue rises.  Take that 55 dollars you've blown on your 'far-to-long-to-be-a-mum" nails, and buy your kids some shoes.  And while your at it, wipe your child's face, preferably with your horse hair, barely there extensions, it'll solve 2 issues.

Dear group of teenage girls slapping on a face of makeup "testers".  Firstly, hahahahahahahahahaha, if only you had worked in the cosmetic retail industry and seen where those testers go at times.  Under cabinets, swatches by 100s of people, exposed to all kinds of bacterias. THAT'S WHY YOU ARE ONLY MEANT TO SWATCH THEM !! YUK. Secondly, when I go to swatch a product I genuinely want to purchase and its broken/ empty/covered in your greasy hormonal skin, we've got an issue.  For god sake, not only do you look like an absolute idiot, you are blocking up the beauty aisle and giving me a headache with your high pitched shit talk. There is no way in hell you are going to spend 30 dollars on that Revlon lipstick,  GO HOME!

Dear group of teenage boys riding your bikes in the middle of the walkway. Firstly, TURN YOUR MOBILE PHONE MUSIC PLAYER OFF! Listening to some shit rap music does not make you appear hip.  It makes me want to kick you, hard.  Congratulations! You, like 99% of the population, can both ride a bike, and listen to music.  Impressive stuff ;)

PS. pull your pants up

Dear cashier who decided that it only takes three words to communicate a transaction.  I understand that by 4pm you are sick to death of people and being fake happy, BUT HARDEN UP CUPCAKE!.  Say hello, smile, fake some sort of conversation, and ill be out of your way.  You did understand a customer service job involved service of customers? If you want to be able to keep that addiction to black eyeliner and fake orange streaky tan you appear to have, you might wanna lift your game.

Furthermore, there is also a universal set of issues I have with shopping centres.  For instance, why when you just want to browse do you get 7000 sales people asking you questions, but when you need someone there isn't anyone in sight ?

Why do the slowest walkers always walk in the middle of the walkway?

Why do people feel the need to make out on escalators?

Why do people eat greasy food and shop at the same time? YOUR PUTTING GREASE ON EVERYTHING!

There are so many things that make me cringe in shopping centres.  I could honestly post for days.

In fact, I feel as though this could be a re-occurring topic. "Stupid shit I saw shopping this week" ;)

A
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WHY DO GIRLS WEAR THAT ???

Now that formalities have taken place, it is time for my first 'real' post. Today's topic of discussion; WHY DO GIRLS WEAR THAT ??? :/

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I haven't participated in some horrid trends in my time ( hair mascara? ), but honestly at 12 years old you can be excused. No no I'm talking about full grown women. Women old enough to know better, old enough to buy their own clothes and old enough to LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

Lets begin:

1. WHITE TIGHTS ahhhhhhh. There is not a woman on earth (not even Miranda Kerr) that can pull this look off. They get grubby, transparent, and worstly ( is that a word?), they highlight every single flaw like a giant neon lit billboard. If you must wear these bad boys, pleeeeeaaaassseee wear something on your top half that covers your rear end.

2. NEON. Unless you are exercising, because we could all do with a little (or a lot) of colour in our worlds during that torture, or you are filming a pop video clip in the 80s, then there is absolutely no need to wear something so bright it looks like you've gone and slaughtered a glow stick, then proceed to pour said glow stick over ones body.  You look like a giant tacky tack ball, and furthermore, after 2 washes, your clothes are not even neon anymore, their just shit faded out crap.

3. SKIN COLOURED LIP COLOUR. No I do not mean nude lipsticks, which by all means I condone, no I mean slapping foundation/concealer all over your lips and blending them into skin colour, or worse, lighter. ARE YOU AWARE YOU LOOK LIKE A CORPSE??? I don't know which 'fashionista' started this trend, but seeing girls in clubs with eyes like panda bears and lips like a zombie bride often makes me fear for my generation. As if the colour isn't bad enough, their lips do this cracked, flaky falling off thing from the dryness of FRIGGING CONCEALER ON THEIR LIPS.  Do the world a favour, STOP!

4. WEATHER CONFLICTING OUTFITS.  Let me set the scene for you, its 5pm, its cold, you've ducked down to the local supermarket, your feeling mighty fashion forward in your trackies and vans.  You spot a young girl looking at fruit, gee how is she wearing denim shorts and a singlet in this cold weather? you ask yourself. WAIT A MINUTE!! she has a frigging scarf and uggboots on, shes obviously fine.  NO!, NO NO NO.  Honestly, wearing the skimpiest outfit you own and slapping a 5 dollar cotton on scarf on is not an acceptable winter outfit.  Similarly, I do not want to see you dressed for the alpine, with a pair of havianas on your feet.  Dear teenage girls; boys wont think less of you because your warm ;)

5. TRENDS YOU JUST WEREN'T "BUILT" FOR. This is by far my favourite.  It is the worst.  You know when your flicking through a magazine, and there stands a 6ft amazonian princess of a model, dressed in leather shorts and a fringed crop top because that is this summers "latest trend", and you think wow, she looks great. STOP. Think long and hard.  When you're imagining yourself are you remembering to photo shop the rest of your body into the picture?  I'm all for embracing ones body, heck I'm no beanpole that's for sure, but sometimes a little self honesty is required.  Will I look cute? or will my leather covered behind resemble a jersey cow? :/

The moral of all my rambling here ladies really is just embrace yourself, look twice in the mirror, and dress to suit you. Just follow my tips and you'll never look like a cellulite ridden-glow stick eating-zombie bride-weather confused-baby heffa again.

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